Zaman Akıp Giderken

Dokunamaz sana zamanın izleri.

Sen dizelerimde ve ruhumda,

Sonsuza dek genç kalacaksın.

Acımasız yıllar hırpalarken tüm güzellikleri,

Kalemiyle güzel yüzüne çizdiğinde çizgiler,

Güzelliğinle bu dizelerde yaşayacaksın.

Her ne kadar sözcükler seni anlatmaya yetmese de,

Zaten insanlar inanamazdı senin güzelliğine.

Sen güzelliğini erdemlerinle süslerken,

Varsın zaman uğraşsın yıpratmaya seni.

Zira, seni tanıyan herkes yitip gitse de,

Sen bu dizelerde ölümsüzlüğü bulacaksın.

Mehtap ve Sen

Mehtap üzerimde sessizce parlıyor.

Gecenin derin sessizliği her yanı kaplamışken,

Sen hayallerimi süsleyen güzel!

Ne olur sen de kaderimde parlasan.

Elmas gözlerinle bana bakarken,

Bakışlarının altında yeniden doğsam.

Ne olur ben de mutlu olsam.

Gülmeyi, hayatı sevmeyi öğrensem

ve şımarık bir çocuk gibi davranabilsem.

ANNOTATIONS FROM THE NOTEBOOK

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Today was a so strange day. I had a laziness because of hot summer day. Anyway i had no desire to do anything. I lied down to a little siesta and get away from this world and forget about everything for a short time although i could not sleep. However, despite to not being able to sleep, i did not get up from bed until sunset.

I got up and went to the veranda when darkness came. I had a bad feeling and i just could not snap out of it. I wanted to escape again. Leaving everything and going far away and making a fresh start somewhere noone knows me. Just making my dream true which i dreamed  it during my childhool and my first youth years. Walking away from everything and everybody.

I had been thinking i was just a disappointment to myself and the others and my life was a washout. The sounds in my head was keep saying that same things all the time: You are an unsuccessful and unable. You messed up everything. Nobody loves you and wants you. Even your father abandoned you. You are all alone. All alone…

Therefore i had been wanting to be successful because of these. Doing incredible something… Being so successful and showing it everybody thinks that i was nothing. Nevertheless no matter i did, i could never and ever think that i am fruitful. On the contrary, i thought that i was just a fruitless and disappointment.

That night, somehow i suddenly remembered that day. I recalled that cold winter day when i was out. I was so hurted that bad treatment. When i was walking around the streets hopelessly and desperately, i felt that i had no power to live with my every step and wanted to die and to get away. However life moves so paradoxically, every hopelessness brings a new hope with itself.